How to Find Freedom From Financial Abuse

You’re in a financial crunch and need to get bills paid. It’s the 20th of the month and the day to submit the bills. Then you get to see what will be paid or not.

Uncertainty in financial markets causes extreme volatility. So I know all about that kind of chaos.

It’s my life.

Here’s how I manage to get my bills paid each month. I start the day on my knees praying.

“O Jesus I surrender myself to You. Take care of everything!” Repeated ten times. It’s a prayer given to an Italian priest Fr Ruotolo who was given it by the Lord Jesus.

Then I pray the rosary with an intention to find freedom from financial abusers.

I fast on bread and water Wednesdays and Fridays and whenever it looks like the bills won’t get paid. I fast on bread and water until I find a solution and tell creditors that’s what I am doing.

I write down my goal: find financial freedom fast. Repeat it and pray for it without ceasing.

When in an emergency situation I pray the Memorare 10 times. It’s what Mother Teresa prayed as an emergency novena when in a pinch. I keep praying it until the answer comes.

When in despair, I offer up my suffering to the Lord. Every day people die of abuse. Today I read a high school teacher in Afghanistan died of hunger and had not eaten in 4 days. I am not alone in my suffering. My difficulties are minor in comparison to many.

Whatever happens if I offer it up, I will win and the abuser loses because I am in the morally better place and the abusers won’t be able to kill who I am in the core of my being. The Lord has me and I am His. He won’t abandon me. He’s got this.

Then all abusers will be free of me and have my money, if I die. They can then rejoice. I for my part will do what I can to stay alive and live to bear witness of finding freedom from abuse finally. Then the abusers will know they too have a choice to not be predators and instead turn to a Savior for financial freedom instead of preying upon me.

They will be free too to make their choice. And they are free to choose either way. I am not forcing them. They get to determine their own destiny.

And I can move on, finally.

Brief note on the booster shot…it send me into the beginnings of a hypo mania… last two shots initiated depression, which I far prefer, but the last one had me in the throes of something worse…thankfully it’s not my first rodeo with this bucking disease and I am trained in what to do…systemic inflammation affects my brain first and worst always now…that’s the legacy of a hyper reactive brain since the priest abuse so many years ago…

Where I sometimes hung out when homeless and living in my car (before I left Montana) to find complete recovery…I could pray my rosary there…She’s the best Jewish Mother ever and she cares for and loves everyone…

Forget-Me-Nots in the Absarokee, Montana Ditch

I enjoyed checking on the forget-me-nots growing in the ditch in the last town I lived in Montana while on walks. That doesn’t count when I lived in Columbus in my vehicle sometimes and in a motel also. When I had the funds, I stayed at a great motel.

I had given notice where I lived and when my ride fell through, it took some time to arrange another.

I really feared driving to Kentucky because I was afraid I would go into an episode and not make it there.

The Salvation Army was kind enough to give me a print out of a map. At the Hub in Billings which is a drop in center for the homeless or those in danger of becoming so, they gave me a cloth face mask because I wore bandannas for protection. I used that mask all the way there and through much of the next year until the elastic gave out.

Now I look back and realize that having to drive myself was far better than the overpriced ride I’d arranged.

I got to pray out loud with recordings most of the drive cross country and it was healing. It was worth moving to no longer have to try to depend upon that man for rides for my equine partner. And he’s free of having me as a customer, so it’s a win-win.

stigmatized anonymous: Spotlight

(Began on May 1, 2016 and left as a draft until today 1-13-22:)

The light shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehended it not…until the Spotlight focused the laser investigative beam upon the abuse in Boston. The abuse of power was at the top and continues unabated, it seems. I received a letter from the attorney of the archdiocese and that was it. Pastoral counseling is available to me and the lawyer said they reached out to me but that is news to me.

I had an attorney and that is a very good thing. At least it is registered that the abuse occurred now and maybe more victims will come forward.

How is it that the Lord sent me into the church today on May Day? I cannot receive Holy Communion until I become a Catholic and every time I have tried to take instruction I end up severely triggered in my post-traumatic stress disorder. I told Him, He would have to heal me first if He really wanted me to become a Catholic. Well, evidently He is in favor of flooding as a technique to overcome psychological blocks because He also had me watch the film Spotlight today.

I will remember this May Day and being the first adult to volunteer to read the first Hail Mary during the Living Rosary at Mother Mary’s grotto.

(I am adding now in 2022 that I then went to Billings from Columbus in Montana alone to watch the film Spotlight. It was a jarring and extremely triggering experience, but I resolved to do my part in exposing the truth, as I myself have been disabled since a priest abused me in 1976.)