stigmatized anonymous–brain injured

The Crown of Thorns pierced His Head. “Let that mind be in (me) which was also in Christ Jesus,” it is written. How did He manage with that particular pain?

He was tortured and beaten a killed without good reason. He was hated and despised, but He did not go mad or become violent. How did He do it?

Being homeless did not faze Him either. He was able to provide for all His needs and for others, too, feeding 5,000 people from a few loaves and fishes and changing water into wine at the behest of His Mother for a wedding.

He did not want His Mother to be homeless, though, and while He was on the Cross, He gave John the Beloved the task of taking care of her.

What would Jesus do about my neighbor Amanda who lost one-third of her brain to cancer surgery and the rest of it is slowly dying because of radiation and now she is being evicted because—why? I do not know the whole story at all. What I do know has me sleepless right now because we are going to be inspected soon and I too could be evicted.

I have made some progress in tidying my place. I have put the books in bookshelves of sorts, as the manager said I needed to work on getting my books in bookshelves and my tubs full of papers sorted. I saved some grocery store boxes and stood them on their sides and stuck the books in them. The papers are much harder to deal with because I have to go through each one and it takes me forever.

I used to be really good at filing papers and I still have in storage my files from college, which contain my writings. Unfortunately I threw out my file on Afghanistan when my mother came to move me and called herself “the great motivator” in getting me to clean house. My file on Afghanistan was mostly from when I was at Stanford and typed on my portable typewriter a number of letters to the editors of various newspapers, including the Wall Street Journal imploring them to help the freedom fighters. I received a reply from the editor of the Journal and I wish I still had it. It meant a lot to me. I tossed the whole file because I was under pressure from my mother and not really thinking clearly and did not ever think I would write again.

Why, when I clean house, do memories of abuse surface? This is what makes me avoid it as much as I can. I told Amanda the other day that when I was cleaning it brought back memories of rapes. I am sure she did not need to hear that but it came out of my mouth.

Every time I have been homeless, I eventually get raped. These inspections always have the threat of eviction with them for me and eviction means homelessness in my mind, which is not exactly a sound mind right now.

Lord, help Amanda get help as well as myself and all who need help. Please give us peace of mind that You will not abandon us in our hour of need. Thank You! Amen.



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