stigmatized: stolen trust

What grounds do I have to think that my brother, Mark Henry Ritter, might be untrustworthy as a trustee?

Let us start with his history of stealing as a child, which can be explained away as youthful vice. When it gets to being employed at Let’s Fly a Kite and he rips them off constantly, it gets more problematic.

When his band of raucous debauched noise in the guise of music is called “Lie Cheat and Steal,”  starts to become a calling card in his teens, it gets more interesting. He was never going to be Eric Clapton, but the artistry of Marilyn Manson was absent because with the latter, who had some aesthetic possibilities, (although I really never listened to his music because I was way past Satanic high priests by then and was trying to outrun my parents partying with Anton LaVey of the Church of Satan–but I digress). It was just trashy noise as loathsome as the banging of garbage cans when they were collecting trash in the alley.

So, even a teenager can renounce their vices, or as I see it their mortal sins and violations of the 10 Commandments, as I had to do. Yes, I stole and I had to in making amends send a check for a sandwich I stole from Stanford University cafeteria with an amends letter. And I had to send money to Value Village/Thrift Village and explain that I came from a wealthy home in Atherton (one of the most exclusive zip codes on the planet) and I did not need to steal used clothing and it was a sin and I had to basically explain I would hardly have gone naked without the second hand clothing. I was about as morally vacant as when I came home from there having bought or stolen a used black lace slip and put on high heels and went into my parents’ dinner party and said, ‘”Hi Mom, hi Pop, I just got home from work!” I was offered a job by Mr. Mervyn Morris, which I had no desire to pursue at all. After all, why work when you can have such a great life of vice?

So, I myself have stolen and it was not to save from starving or going naked, I assure you. What possible moral justification do I have for airing the Ritter dirty laundry in public?

This needs to be written because it is true and I will recount it to the best of my ability as I was told of it by my parents. Mark was hired by Mr. Frank Aries to work for him on his yacht as he traveled around the globe. He was hardly fed hardtack in a slave galley. He was more of a pirate prince, it turns out, but without the dashing handsomeness of the cinematic Pirate of the Caribbean.

How crass and tasteless is it to steal Mr. Aries’ daughter Jennifer’s jewelry and then give it as “presents” to Allison and Angela Strasburger? Allison is now an attorney at the top of her field, I assume, as my mother forbad me to contact her, as she said she would not want to hear from me when her precious father, who was such a gentleman, passed on in horrendous agony that the scourge of diabetes delivers in its death blows by decimating every organ system.

Mark was an adult when he did that and I do not remember what age exactly and I will not guess but I rather doubt that Allison and Angela will have forgotten the disgusting filthy vile tasteless evil deed of Mark Henry Ritter.

Mark said to me in the past two years, why would you hold this against me that I did years ago in an attempt to shame me? (not a direct quote). I will tell you why. If you do not feel shame about something so morally repugnant you do not deserve to control the trust fund and therefore life of a disabled person. You lack a conscience and you also lack empathy and therefore ought to be disqualified by law from being a trustee. Why my parents thought that the thing they raised was capable of it, is beyond me. And he had the temerity to repeatedly tell me one Christmas what a burden I was to him and how much of a burden it is to be a trustee for me. I have it recorded and I told him I was recording it. It is therefore admissible as evidence.

That is why I do not trust my brother at all with anything whatsoever and never, ever will. He is a despicable human being who should be made a public example of just the very person to never let run the life and money of a disabled person. Because love of money is the root of all evil. He cannot keep his hands out of any till he’s near. And you can take it to the bank and I expect this to finally get to court now because although I have told this little vignette to many people about stealing the jewelry of a family friend who was kind enough to employ him on a dream job and then give it as presents to our cousins. This, then may suffice to explain my reticence about ever believing a word that comes out of his mouth because he has lied since he could speak. There but by the grace of God go I, and thanks to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ the true Messiah of my people, I am grateful to be saved from the wretched state of sin of my brother Mark.

UPDATE 12-9-19: I will only be saved from a wretched state of sin if I am willing to let go of my anger and hatred and rage towards my brother and all who have abused me. The Messiah saved His choicest words of rebuke to self-righteous religious folks and unless I want to be like them, I had best repent of my madness. I do not like to be ripped off and abused but maybe it is my lesson to learn how to forgive because some people do not have the capacity to be honest for whatever reason, as is written in a recovery book by Bill W. So there is a prayer in that manual: “This is a sick man. How can I best be helpful to him? God save me from being angry.”

Resentments only get me back to turning to my drugs of choice which include making men my gods and expecting them to save me. That has never worked for me and never will. I have far too much to fix and am way too far gone for any human to fix me. I have a shotgun blast-sized hole in my heart and it keeps being reopened. The first law of dealing with being in a pit, is to stop digging the hole deeper.

I am not to expect someone who has a vested interest in destroying me to change. Even the Lord Christ did not return to hang out with the Sanhedrin after He was resurrected. He was not a masochist even if they were sadistic. He could walk away from their abuse and move on. He was not caught up in an endless cycle of abuse. He literally rose above their murderous rage. So unless I want to be like them, I just have to do my best to run from this mess and try to follow Him.

It really is in part my fault because I was warned in a dream by St. Thomas More not to sign any papers my family presented to me without having an attorney look them over. When the trust document was later presented to me, I became so depressed after reading it, I ended up just caving to my mother pressuring me to sign it. Mea culpa.

So this is a very hard lesson to learn about heeding direction. If I had heeded that direction from the patron saint of lawyers, I am sure an attorney would not have had me sign it without significant modifications.

My current Vocational Rehabilitation counselor said that when she read the trust document—and she read it a number of times—she found it profoundly disturbing in tone and substance.

The way I see it, is it is a documentation of damning family mesmerism—a codification of my scapegoat status and their perceived need for perpetual domination by them.  In all honesty, they never knew why I became disabled and that it was by the priest. I did not know it myself. So they just assumed I was genetically flawed and unfixable. Fair enough. Their are few stories of healing of people with severe psychiatric disabilities. The ones I cling to are in the New Testament. That was not a text they were fond of at all. To each his own.

I would like to know if He can still find a way for someone to walk away from family money like St. Francis and St. Clare did and to follow Him. That’s what I would like, but goodness knows I do not qualify as a saint and the original posting here is proof of that without a doubt.

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