stigmatized: addressed to the manager of the apartment re: getting up to code

I emailed the apartment manager the following request today in response to my notice on Good Friday of failing an inspection:

Dear [Apartment Manager]-

Thank you for giving me further guidance as to what is expected of me in apartment maintenance. I have not been able to locate the new lease agreement and would like another copy of it, please. If you have it on file please send by email so I can forward a copy to my attorney for review. Thank you!

The original lease agreement reads, in the section entitled “housekeeping:”

“Apartments are to be kept clean and in sanitary condition at all times. Trash is to be removed on a daily basis. Tenant can not cause or permit offensive odors to permeate in or emanate from apartment. During tenancy and at move-out, cleaning the unit, appliances, drapes, blinds, windows, light globes and carpets is the responsibility of the tenant. Carpets and drapes must be professionally cleaned at least annually and upon move-out. ”

I do not see in this a description or definition of “tidy” here and would like to see the new agreement and the Section III B for which you have found me in violation. You wrote “specifically: front of cabinets need cleaned (sic) Keep working on tidying.” I have cleaned the front of the cabinets as that was an oversight of mine, for which I apologize. As far as what constitutes tidiness, I need more clarification, please and what it entails to get up to code.

The professional organizer I had hired to help me organize my paperwork had to cancel because of illness and it is unlikely she will be able to get here before next Monday, which is the 10 day deadline for re-inspection. My neuro-psychological evaluation is not until May 1 to determine why it is that since I underwent electro-convulsive treatments (shock treatments) I have had impaired organizational and executive-functioning skill. As I have said before, my ability to read and write is not impaired but it was like flipping a switch in my ability to organize, which I previously had excelled at and have the extensive files in file cabinets in storage as proof, as well as working at Classroom Computer Learning Magazine as an editorial assistant and excelling there, as well. Now I cannot even pass a Word class online. At this point, I know for sure myself that I had a brain injury but now it is up to me to rehabilitate myself.

So, it does not really matter why I have this issue. I will need to get this accomplished myself and being as specific as possible will enable me to best comply for the deadline Monday. Thank you again!

Most sincerely,

Caroline V. Ritter

end of email to manager

So, the devil is in the details and with what I am quite sure is a pre-frontal cortex injury (after using Dr. Daniel Amen, M.D.’s assessment in  “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life”) due to shock treatments, I need to get up to speed quite quickly. The reality is that I live in a subsidized housing for seniors and disabled and it is not so easy to instantly evict me as my parents did originally when they changed the locks on the doors and left a notice that if I tried to enter, they would call the police. I was in a manic episode and I did raise my voice to my mother and she did what she thought was best for her. It was her house and I was past 18 and they did not have to house me.  In the end it worked out best because she forbad me to pray in her house if I was to live there and I do not do well without a lot of prayers. So I went to the Salvation Army and they gave me a voucher for a motel for the night and one for an all-you-can eat buffet at the King’s Table in Redwood City. This was a a new experience for a girl from Atherton who was a debutante. Atherton is the exclusive enclave where now many of the Silicon Valley executives live.

There are also more rules and regulations that the manger has to comply with due to government subsidy than my brother the trustee who emailed me an eviction notice from the place my mother left me. Actually, he did not give me a legal eviction notice, but that is water under the dam. Now, I know better to actually ask questions and find out my rights under the law. There is more to that story, but I am learning not to just simply go into fight or flight mode (into post-traumatic stress disorder meltdown and thereby into a manic psychosis in order to take mental flight from the stress). I do not have to just flee the place, as I did when the man I married hit me. That could have saved my life, as the police later showed me his mug shot for having spent 30 or so days in jail for beating his mother.

Now I can learn that there are other responses other than to run or to go out of my mind. That is progress. Although they have the perfect right to evict me, it is not so easy as it is for my family because they called all the shots because of my mental illness. Now I have some protection under the law and I intend to heal from that blessing. In the end I may have to leave, but for right now, I did get to sleep finally last night after giving a Surrender Rosary and an Archangel Michael Rosary for Armageddon. So, this is progress and I am grateful. These tools taught me by Elizabeth Clare Prophet are priceless and beyond invaluable. I will be forever indebted to her. This shrew is being tamed, and He is proving His words that “this kind goes out only by prayer and fasting.” Thank You Rabboni for the testing on this Passover….



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